


want you

by forgotthemilk



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, dry humping in plugsuits, references to loop theory, with feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:21:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22274740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgotthemilk/pseuds/forgotthemilk
Summary: After a sync test, Shinji's feeling bold.
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Nagisa Kaworu
Comments: 13
Kudos: 234





	want you

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still working on my sequel to "hear it from your mouth" - wrote this as a bit of a quick break.
> 
> The tags say it all! Please enjoy.

Shinji’s always a little different with each loop. Kaworu likes to think that he’s seen almost every side of Shinji - angry, sad, hurt, even happy, albeit fleetingly.

But this... This is new. 

Shinji’s cheeks are flushed as he catches Kaworu’s wrist. They’re in the changing rooms after a sync test, still in their plugsuits. 

“Kaworu,” he says, quiet, hesitant. Kaworu has barely turned to face him when Shinji grabs the back of his head and yanks him into an inelegant, hard kiss. 

Shinji pulls away and looks at him, face even redder than before but gaze fierce. “You like me, don’t you?” 

Kaworu’s too stunned to even speak. Shinji’s fingers are still around his wrist and in his hair. “I — I, uh,” he sputters.

Shinji hesitates, his grip loosening. “If I’m wrong, just say it.”

Kaworu finds his voice. “No!” As bewildering as Shinji making the first move is, he’s still, well,  _ Shinji, _ and Kaworu wouldn’t dream of rejecting him. (He’s tried it, before. It didn’t end well.) He pauses to collect himself, and says as sincerely as he can, “I  _ do _ like you, Shinji. I like you a lot.” 

“Do you like me as a friend, or…” Shinji gets up on his toes, bringing their faces together again. Their lips are touching as he asks, “Like this?” 

Kaworu’s voice is nearly a whisper. “This.” 

Shinji’s on him instantly, shoving until Kaworu stumbles back against the lockers so hard it hurts. His kisses are clumsy and hungry and rough and Kaworu’s responses aren’t much better. He might as well be kissing Shinji for the first time. 

Shinji’s hands press on his chest and keep him trapped against the lockers as he sticks his tongue down Kaworu’s throat. It’s amateurish and raw and Kaworu is loving every second of it. In the past, he’s been the level-headed one, guiding Shinji through their more intimate moments. Letting Shinji take charge is exhilarating. He knows Shinji appreciates him, even loves him if he gets the chance; but right now, he feels  _ wanted. _

His body is responding in turn. As Shinji presses even closer and sucks on his tongue, his lower half stirs to life, heat rising. Shinji releases his mouth to lick along his jaw and Kaworu can’t help but groan. 

Kaworu embraces Shinji and pulls him closer, and his stiffening cock rubs up against Shinji’s rock-hard one. He gasps at the feeling, and Shinji growls and gives Kaworu a bruising kiss. The pain mingles with the pleasure and Kaworu moans wantonly into Shinji’s mouth. 

“I — want…” Shinji says in between kisses, trailing off distractedly to suck on Kaworu’s bottom lip.

_ “What?” _ Kaworu whines at him. 

Shinji pulls back, gaze heavy. “Get on the floor.” 

Kaworu sinks to his knees and glides a hand along Shinji’s plugsuit until he reaches the bulge at his groin. Shinji lets out a strange little sound and roughly shoves Kaworu’s hand away. He gets on his knees too, and pushes desperately at Kaworu’s chest again. 

Kaworu gets the message. He slips his legs out from under him and lies back on the concrete floor. Shinji crawls over him, kissing up his plugsuit as he goes, before catching his tongue once again. 

It’s very uncomfortable on the hard ground, but Shinji lowers himself down and shoves his thigh against Kaworu’s clothed cock and Kaworu’s world goes fuzzy and hot. He arches his back, bucking his own thigh up against Shinji’s erection and forcing his head back into the concrete. 

Shinji says something that sounds like a slurred mix of curses and Kaworu’s name, then starts grinding down on Kaworu and whimpering. Kaworu bemoans their clothed bodies, but at least plugsuits are skintight. Each movement gives his cock glorious friction and pushes Shinji’s matching hardness into his leg. Pitiful noises start leaking from him: painfully human whimpers and cries. He clings to Shinji, rocking his hips. 

Shinji bends his head down to meet Kaworu in another kiss as their bodies writhe together on the locker room floor. Kaworu closes his eyes and savors it. Moments of intimacy with Shinji are few and far between,  _ precious, _ even something as crude and animalistic as this. 

Kaworu lets himself exist entirely in the moment, grateful for his working heart which is pumping blood to all the right places. What a wonderful thing, to be alive, with Shinji, giving him the brain chemical soup of pleasure and happiness that Lilin sex provides. How lucky he is to have this fragile human form as well, to experience this feeling, too. 

His hips move more sensually, fluidly, less desperately, trying to slow the pace. He wants to draw this out. They might not get another chance in this life, or the next, or the next. When’s the last time he was even able to  _ kiss _ Shinji? He can’t remember. 

Shinji slows to match him, pulling away from his mouth. His eyes seem to refocus, sharpen, and his expression turns to one of concern as he slips his gloved hands into Kaworu’s hair to cradle his head, protecting it from the hard concrete. 

Kaworu just looks up at him, trying to pour all his gratitude and love into his gaze. Shinji kisses him again, but it's not as harsh as before. It’s careful, gentle, with no teeth involved. Kaworu kisses him back skillfully, guiding, but Shinji’s hips are faltering, and Kaworu realizes he’s disrupted the primal flow of their encounter and likely sent Shinji into his head. In his head is a  _ terrible _ place for Shinji to be. 

So Kaworu bites Shinji’s lip hard enough to draw a pained cry from him and slides his hands down and around Shinji’s ass, pulling their hips together. They moan into each other’s mouths. 

It does the job; Shinji catches fire again, curling closer and grinding hard against Kaworu. He lets Shinji take over, thrusting up to meet him. His blood is pounding through his cock, hot and aching. His extremities prickle and numb; his lower body’s muscles clench and twitch against his will.

They’re both moaning and crying out, clutching and pulling at each other, plugsuits creaking with every jerk of their hips. “I’m gonna come,” Shinji slurs against Kaworu’s neck. 

Kaworu hugs him closer and raises the thigh that Shinji is humping, pressing it harder against him. He chants Kaworu’s name over and over until he breaks off with a garbled noise, thrusts going staccato and twitchy as his whole body curves forward into his orgasm. 

Shinji goes limp and shaky above him, but Kaworu can’t help the tiny rocking of his hips as his Lilin body keeps seeking pleasure. Shinji gives him a drunken kiss. “Did you...?” he asks, whispering against Kaworu’s lips. 

_ “No,” _ Kaworu whimpers, thrusting up against his leg. 

Shinji adjusts their position, his leaden leg resting heavily against Kaworu’s cock. Kaworu’s whole body jerks up, starving for that sweet,  _ sweet _ friction. Shinji weakly reciprocates his movements, and Kaworu moans loudly and wantonly at the pleasure threatening to overtake him. 

He grabs at Shinji and bucks needily up against him, holding him close. Shinji kisses up his jaw to his ear and starts licking it, panting hotly, and that’s what does it. The searing relief of their rutting crescendos and surges through his limbs. Kaworu’s skin goes fizzy and his toes curl as he comes in his plugsuit, shuddering and crying out. Shinji keeps grinding against him, sucking on his earlobe, making his orgasm all the sweeter for it.

His entire body relaxes, drained, and Shinji mirrors him, collapsing down on top of him. Kaworu strokes his still-gloved hand along Shinji’s back as they catch their breath. 

When Shinji finally lifts his head to look at him, his face is bright red. “Oh my God,” he says in quiet horror. “I’m — I’m so sorry… I…”

Ah. Kaworu has seen this before: Shinji is panicking as he comes down from his orgasmic high. “Don’t apologize,” he says softly.

“But I  — Oh  _ God, _ I’m disgusting, I — ” 

Kaworu kisses him to stop his anguished babbling. “Shinji. It’s perfectly natural. Not disgusting at all.” 

“But you… I just  _ jumped _ you — I made you — ” 

Kaworu kisses him again, and then  _ again _ for good measure. “I  _ wanted _ to, Shinji."

That makes Shinji falter. “You did?” he asks, voice small. 

Kaworu takes his face into his hands, rubbing his thumbs along his cheeks. “I always want you,” he says sincerely. 

Shinji slides a hand out from under Kaworu’s head, rubbery fabric tugging pleasantly at his hair, and curls it around Kaworu’s wrist instead. His eyes are wide: Kaworu’s favorite shade of blue. “Kaworu,” he murmurs, looking embarrassed but pleased. “I want you, too.” 

It’s not an  _ I love you, _ but it’s close enough.

The concrete grows increasingly hard under them as the afterglow fades. Eventually, Shinji climbs off Kaworu and helps him to his feet. 

Shinji grimaces and tugs at the pants of his plugsuit. “Gross,” he mutters to himself. Kaworu shifts his stance and suddenly becomes aware of the uncomfortable wetness in his own suit.

He smiles at Shinji. “That’s what the showers are for, are they not?”

Maybe some part of Shinji’s soul is trying to make up for lost time, he thinks when Shinji bursts into his shower stall ten minutes later, shampoo bubbles still in his hair, and kisses Kaworu under the water spray. Not that he’s complaining.

**Author's Note:**

> And they lived happily ever after. Maybe. 
> 
> The line about Kaworu rejecting Shinji once before is a reference to the first draft of episode 24, in which Shinji confesses his feelings to Kaworu and he rejects him (to avoid hurting Shinji in the end! excuse me while I sob). If you're reading Kawoshin fanfiction you probably already know all about the episode 24 drafts, but on the off chance you don't, please look them up. The second draft has a moment I think you'll appreciate :)
> 
> Thanks for reading, have a great day!


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